IRAQ showdown

[cichlidfish]

LoL, careful there you may have opened a can of .... how does the story go down there? Mary had a little sheep .....
You should be careful about letting women vote and run for office, next thing you know it'll be the sheep in power and out for revenge

[Tony.H]

Sheep would probably do a better Job.Actully the price of sheep is bad at the mo(lots of reasons)sheep farmers are converting to Dairy Farming But get this the goverment is trying to introduce fart tax on cows, one of our biggest greenhouse producers???

[cichlidfish]

LOL! Fart Tax, that's hilarious!! Maybe you can 'harness' the farts as a new source of renewable energy, pipe it to your homes to keep warm in winter

[aussie_oscar]

Well I have a few aussie Vs. Kiwi jokes up my sleeve, but I'm sure you'd rather find it in fleece

Sheep prices are shit over here too. $60 for a ewe. It's a joke! Grain prices are bloody horrible too.
The aussie dollar is doing really well though. Today it's $1 AUD = $0.9248 USD

Wasn't that long ago We only got 55 cents back!

Then again, australia is THE BEST country in the world...(hint of patriotism?)

Although on the Western side we're plagued by nyoongars(aboriginies) asking us "got a dolla ten mate? I need bus money"
and then you smell them...usually before you see them, they don't like showers, I think it burns them...Or you see the coke bottle that's painted which smells like gasoline, and then they tell us "the white man gives us nothing"

Damn you nyoongar, If they want a brand new car they make 2 or 3 payments and the gov pays the rest. They get better pension money from the government than any other group. Nearly everything is free or paid for for them. School, rent, food, uni, etc. And somehow they are still poor...Perhaps they should stop spending their money on booze and weed and stop raping their own children and stop having children while they're still children and start going to school and not kicking up a stink when the DCD tries to remove the baby in the family cause the parents are always doped up and the kids big sisters feed it. Blah. Extra money, still in poverty, and they ask ME for a dollar. I don't get no government handouts, I have bills to pay, rent to pay, a car to pay for. I have to buy food too and pay for fuel for my car. From the small amount that's left over if you think I'm going to give you a dollar you can suck my b*tch.

Ok. Touchy Issue. And I'm not racist, I just hate everybody equally. where were we?




A Kiwi walks into the local unemployment office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi! I hate being on welfare, I'd really rather have a job."

The clerk behind the Centrelink desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.

The starting salary is $200,000 a year".

The Kiwi says, "You're bullshitting me!"

The Centrelink officer says, "Yeah, well, you started it".




Why can't Kiwi blokes take their girlfriends to the Rugby?

They eat all the grass.



hey Joe, we should make a jokes forum!

[cichlidfish]

Actually, I think we did have a jokes forum before, will see if can find it, otherwise yea we should make new one. As for the nyoogars or whatever they're called, you're lucky they don't demand you all get out of Australia, though they'd probably all starve to death if that happened, but don't ya know, it's the "White Man" that's keeping everybody else down, stealing their hard earned 'entitlement to free everything' But what do all these old and yes 'primitive' cultures do without the white man these days, they would starve. Some people expect to just be able to sit around and not do any work and still eat and drink and smoke plenty, have fun party....they actually think that if white man wasn't around that "ALL of them" could just live like that....they never realized that was only possible when their populations were MUCH smaller so the land could support the few of them who weren't killed off by diseases which (white man's) medicine now cures, and in that regard they don't seem to care to use any birth control either, the poorest and least educated always have the most kids and especially the most single mothers with long-gone deadbeat fathers. I bet if they brought the death penalty for sexual relations outside of marriage in to Africa, the AIDS epidemic will disappear quite quickly, I bet its the reason why the Jews, an ancient people, are still around to this day, notwithstanding the Holocaust. I mean look at the Inca's and Mayas and other such civilization, lots of them were completely decimated by sexually transmitted diseases. "The Spanish had various reasons for thinking the Indians were barbarians. These people were not Christians. And the Spanish were convinced that they engaged in horrible practices. They were sexually promiscuous, homosexuals, and worst of all the engaged in cannibalism and human sacrifice." Everyone wants someone from "among themselves" to rule the country but that may not be a good choice, the wise should lead, not the "common". Many countries have welfare systems for immigrants and others based on 'race' or color such that any white/caucasian can not take advantage of even if his predicament is worse and would be more deserving. Such systems are completely unjust, a helping had should be for anyone who really 'needs a helping hand', not just for someone of a certain race or color regardless of their real/actual need.

[aussie_oscar]

I agree. although there are many many land battles going on. We have the petrol sniffers coming in to court, they say "sacred land" and we have to give it to them. Whoever is living there at the time, too bad. So many other countries have been taken over and occupied by another country. but as soon as that country has a population that looks different to the other, they go up in arms about it.

I'm not religious, but I believe in contraception. and personally, I think contraception should be pretty much free or have a wider availability. I'm talking vending machines on the side walk etc. It's all so expensive these days, pisses me off...
"Oh johnny make sure you wear a condom"
"What?! You going to buy it for me b*tch? $10 for 6. I don't have ten bucks."

the problem with aboriginies in australia is basically the ones on the western side, different culture to east side, a lot more aggressive etc. They keep themselves down. When the kids try to break away and make something of themselves the families hold them back. I have a few aboriginal friends, successful ones, and I've asked all of them why it's hard to get ahead in australia when you have so much provided, and they said it's their own family. The older ones are still bitter and resent white occupation, so they stick it to us by drinking and ignoring their showers and trashing everything.

[Tony.H]

I Just finished typing up a joke and semi long story,and forgot to submit it, Its been a long day and have just finished a couple of beers, anyways good joke! Our unemployment is so low at the mo manly because all our skilled people are crossing the ditch to the land of red dirt,in feburay there was something like 1000 kiwis leaving oneway ticket per week. Funny though I don't think the grass is that much greener over there.

Man we have got right off the subject, Hows the war going havent heard much lately, NZ has SAS or did have but manily we have bodygaurds and drivers for media personal and the likes. But probably our troops are one a peace keeping mission somewhere tyding up some poorer country struck buy a natural disater or something.

[cichlidfish]

[quote="Tony.H"]I Just finished typing up a joke and semi long story,and forgot to submit it, Its been a long day and have just finished a couple of beers.[/quote]

Maybe, it's those [b]"couple of beers"[/b], they're too potent down there?

[Tony.H]

well it probably was I'll be the first to admit we do know how to make beer here.

[cichlidfish]

Yea I know, never get ina drinking contest with an Aussie, there's just as bad as them Scots 'n Irish!